Turning "Grown-Up".....

Dye til you Die or I'm Natural

2011-10-29T19:25:00.000-04:00

http://goinggraylookinggreat.com

http://goinggrayblog.com

Old People

2011-03-31T23:37:00.000-04:00

Seniors

The Nelson's a married couple were traveling by car from Myrtle Beach SC to visit family in Jacksonville Fl.

Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road and too tired to continue, they decided to get a room. However, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us to use. 'But we didn't use them," the husband said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is only made out for $50.00."

''That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with senior citizens. They didn't get there by being stupid!

Worry.....

2011-02-24T23:49:00.002-05:00

"WORRY"
Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?

Is there some wonderful moment when Parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug,

'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches In my daughter's head and I asked, 'When do you stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage..'

My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom And heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career
making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage And then you can sit back, Relax and enjoy them.'

My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, The cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves. 'Don't worry! In a few years, they'll be adults. 'They'll be off on their own
They'll be out of your hair'
My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
By the time I was 50,
I was sick and tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my children,
But there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own
I continued to anguish over their failures,
Be tormented by their frustrations and
Absorbed in their disappointments..
And there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.
My friends said that When my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that,
But I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles And their occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
'Call me the minute you get home'.
Are you depressed about something?'
My friends said that When I became a grandparent That I would get to enjoy
The happy little voices yelling
Grandma! Papa!
But now I find that I worry
Just as much about the little kids
As the big ones.
How can anyone cope
With all this Worry?
Can it be that parents are sentenced
To a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another
Handed down like a torch
To blaze the trail of human frailties
And the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it
A virtue that elevates us
To the highest form of earthly creation?
Recently, one of my own children
Became quite irritable, saying to me,
'Where were you?
I've been calling for 3 days,
And no one answered
I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

2010-09-10T08:48:00.003-04:00

Let's put the seniors in jail, and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks, they'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes, and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, P.J.'s and legal aid would be free on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a P.C. a T.V. radio, and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct, that would be strictly adhered to.

The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone, and unsupervised, lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week, live in a tiny room, pay $3,000.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out. Justice for all.

WOMEN'S RESTROOMS.....

2010-08-31T22:35:00.003-04:00

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom , no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, ( Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT .. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

MY 5 NEW BOYFRIENDS!

2010-07-29T10:55:00.000-04:00

I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed
Then I go to see John.
Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of
my time and attention.
When he leaves, Art Ritis shows up
and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long,
so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.
What a life!

Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him: "Oh, I do it all the time. No matter where I am in the parlour, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself:

"Now, what am I here after?"

Fwd: PATIENTS CAN BE FUNNY

2010-05-10T23:15:00.000-04:00

                  1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .

'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Francisco

2... At the beginning of my shift
I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad
news when I told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications. .
'Which one ?'. .. . I asked. 'The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped
I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair,
Norfolk , VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR

6. I was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your
breakfast this morning?' 'It's very good
except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste.' .. . Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
Detroit ,

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered..... It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery... When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name,

                     AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

   8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .
' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .

' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' '

   Dr. wouldn't submit his name....

1 MORE Baby's First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied...

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

WHAT CAN ONE EXPECT?

2010-03-21T11:28:00.003-04:00

What I want in a man,

Original List:
1. Handsome
2.. Charming

3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man,

Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner

4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man,

Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man,

Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man,

Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man,

Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.
~~~~~~
AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000..00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

2010-02-12T23:01:00.001-05:00

HAPPY HEART DAY EVERYONE!!!!!

Health:

2010-01-25T09:00:00.001-05:00

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner
like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less
food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/
her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away
like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

LOST IN THE DARNEDEST PLACES

2010-01-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into..
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo,
the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.
The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.'
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard,' he says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
___________________________________________________________
FAMILY
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year old
draws a bath. She puts her foot in & pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up & see.'
She starts up the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.
She shakes her head & says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.'
She then yells, 'I'll come up & help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
___________________________________________________________
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer ....'
_________________________________________________________________
LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was going up & down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked,
she would flip up the hem of her night-gow n & say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an
elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup..'
____________________________________________________________
OLD FRIENDS:
Now this one is just too Precious... !
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared
all kinds of activities & adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other & said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time,
but I just can't think of your name! I've thought & thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is '
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared & glared at her.
Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
_________________________________________________________________
I love this one.
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.. Answering, he
heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Ernie, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'
'Heck,' said Ernie, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
________________________________________________________________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the
dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight
was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to
herself, 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
& the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red & they went on through.
So, she turned to the other woman & said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through
three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'
Mildred turned to her & said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

Andy Rooney on Sex A bit salty but a smiler

2010-01-11T17:55:00.000-05:00

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex.....she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying...."No hard feelings"

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once....but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?

Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?

Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.....many men still sleep with their wives!

Love, Love, Love

2009-10-06T12:58:00.001-04:00

Love is in the air! I want it, I need it, I hope I find it before I am too old to enjoy it!!

i Heart Faces Beach Photo Challenge

2009-07-28T10:19:00.004-04:00

Maddox at the beach!!

This week at i Heart Faces, It's "At The Beach" Week. My entry is above. After you are done looking at my entry, you can enter your own at http://www.iheartfaces.com/ Or you can just check all the other entries!

Snooping.....

2009-07-03T01:26:00.004-04:00

Snooping.....
I hate the word,
but sometimes it just has to be done.
I think everyone has a right to snoop whenever they feel the need to.
If you have nothing to hide, then nothing should be found when being snooped upon.
If you are doing or saying something to someone that you wouldn't do or say to them
in front of your significant other then, you should be called out on it.

As far as I'm concerned there isn't any reason to do anything behind any ones back.
If you are not happy with your relationship, then you shouldn't be in it.
We have one life and you should try to live it as honestly and as happy as possible
without hurting someone elses life.

Some Day.....

2009-04-01T16:02:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:
'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.'
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper
and the box.
'She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is it.
He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other
clothing he was taking to the funeral house,
his wife had just died.
He turned to me and said:
"Never save something for a special occasion.
Every day in your life is a special occasion".
I still think those words changed my life.
Now I read more and clean less.
I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.
I spend more time with my family, and less at work.
I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.
I no longer keep anything.
I use crystal glasses every day...
I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.
I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.
The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary.
If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now.....
I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't
be there the next morning, this nobody can tell.
I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.
I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food.
It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come..
Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
So don't wait for "Someday or One Day" to tell someone you care about them
and don't save those "Special Dishes or Linens, or whatever", enjoy them now,
Today, this minute, Live and Love for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.

Growing Old....

2009-01-12T10:44:00.002-05:00

Don't regret growing older.

It is a privilege denied to many.

-Unknown

As You Slide....

2009-01-09T12:33:00.003-05:00

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written An impressive new book. It's called ........ 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink And be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant Flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to Your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and That ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9 My next house will have no kitchen - just Vending machines and a large trash can.
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my Mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'

11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment... for enjoying sex.

12.. As you slide down the banister of life, may The splinters never point the wrong way

I know

2008-11-01T09:49:00.002-04:00

I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle.
I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
-Mother Teresa

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

2008-10-04T22:32:00.003-04:00

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day.

You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they

want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received.

Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember.....
When life hands you lemons,

Ask for Lemon Chicken and call me over!!

Good friends are like stars.....

You don't always see them,

But you know they are always there.

'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another,

Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway.'

I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend

while I'm here

than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only God keeps You Going...

'Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up.'

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

2008-09-30T09:13:00.004-04:00

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with
your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things
with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in
your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym
shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ..
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many,
it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbour,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years,
share this with all the women that God has placed in your life
To make a difference.

Why Wives should not take their husbands shopping!!!!

2008-09-26T23:11:00.003-04:00

Men and women have different opinions about shopping. Men are usually in and out kinda guys where most women like to "browse" Here is one man's solution......

Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Why Buy A Cow....

2008-08-08T18:45:00.004-04:00

For all those men who say,
Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.
Here's an update for you:
Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage,
WHY?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire
pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming,
how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

The love story of Ralph and Edna

2008-08-07T10:02:00.003-04:00

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered
her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to respond rationally to
a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that
your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe
belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health day!
You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend.

Values...

2008-06-27T09:44:00.002-04:00

Values are like fingerprints.
Nobody's are the same,
but you leave 'em all over everything you do.
-Elvis Presley

The Seven Dwarves of Menopause

2008-06-21T22:35:00.001-04:00

all she wants to do is,

2008-06-03T09:01:00.005-04:00

dance, dance,
dance . . .
Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month?
Well, it is and that means you !!!
Below is a wonderful
poem Audrey Hepburn wrote
when asked to share her 'beauty tips.'
It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips ,
speak words of kindness...

For lovely eyes ,
seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure ,
share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair ,
let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise ,
walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...

People, even more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.

Remember,
if you ever need a helping hand,
you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.
If you share this with another woman,
something good will happen.
You will boost another woman's self esteem,
and she will know that you care about her.

It's
BEAUTIFUL Women Month
TAG
YOU'RE IT!

Dance
On, Sister!!!

On a positive note....

2008-04-16T20:52:00.001-04:00

I've learned that no matter what happens, or
how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better
tomorrow, if for no other reason than a sense of relief that
whatever it was, didn't get worse!.
>
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way
he/she handles these four things: a rainy day, lost luggage,
screaming two year olds, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
>
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your
parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
>
I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making
a "life."
>
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
>
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's
mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
>
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But
if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
>
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.
>
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
>
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch
someone. People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm
hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
>
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
>
I've learned that if you are going through Hell it is best to keep
going.
>
I've learned that you should tell someone you care
about them. Sometimes they just need a little something
to make them smile.

I want to live my Next Life Backwards!

2008-04-03T17:43:00.007-04:00

You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.
Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy,
you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting pension checks.
When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you're too young to work. So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, drink and party.
As you get even younger, you become a kid again. You go to primary school, play, and have no responsibilities. In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap.
Until finally…
You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case!

Laughter

2008-03-24T16:31:00.002-04:00

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
~Victor Borge

Mothers & Children

2008-03-24T16:29:00.001-04:00

"It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers"
~Norman Douglas

Men and Marriage

2008-03-24T16:20:00.002-04:00

We can not really love anybody with whom we cannot laugh.
~Agnes Repplier

Love Those Wrinkles

2008-03-24T15:56:00.002-04:00

"At this point, I lie in bed at night and hear myself wrinkle. It wakes me up. The wrinkling comes in loud and clear because it is happening so near my ears. One night my husband sat right up in the bed and whispered, "The house is settling...or is that you wrinkling again?" But the good news is... wrinkles not only come from time and the sun, they also come from laughing at the absurdities of life, which increase exponentially after 40. They also come from looking surprised when your child hands you a woolly worm from the garden. They come from smiling when you see an old friend who is as wrinkled as you are. They are a roadmap of experience that you alone have enjoyed. ~ Liz Curtis Higgs

Looking At Each Day

2008-02-16T17:23:00.002-05:00

She is 92 years old, petite, well poised, and proud.
She is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock,with her hair fashionably coifed, and her makeup perfectly applied, in spite of the fact she is legally blind.
Today she has moved to a nursing home.
Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making this move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, where I am employed, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.
As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet curtains that had been hung on her window.
"I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been
presented with a newpuppy.
"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room...just wait," I said.
Then she spoke these words that I will never forget:
"That does not have anything to do with it," she gently replied.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
Whether I like my room or not, does not depend on how the furniture is arranged.
It is how I arrange my mind.
I have already decided to love it.
It is a decision I make every morning when I wake up.
I have a choice. I can spend the day in bed recounting
the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work,
or I can get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do work.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes are open,
I will focus on the new day and all of the happy memories I have stored away...
just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you have already put in.

I believe-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced
who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe-
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every
once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe-
that just because someone doesn't love you the way youwant them to doesn't mean they don't love you with allthey have.
I believe-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I believe-
that it's taking me a long time to become the person Iwant to be.
I believe-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I believe-
that you can keep going, long after you can't.
I believe-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I believe-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be
the ones to help you get back up.
I believe-
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give
me the right to be cruel.
I believe-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe-
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe-
that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe-
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I believe-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I believe-
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I believe-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help.
I believe-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...

2008-02-16T17:08:00.002-05:00

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did And noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the Boiling water, they had changed the water. ''Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
This message is for those people who mean something to you; to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life. It's easier to build a child than repair an adult.
May we all be COFFEE BEANS!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

2008-02-16T17:03:00.002-05:00

One old love she can imagine going back to...
and one who reminds her how far she has come...
...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
...a youth she's content to leave behind...
...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...
...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
...one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
...a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..
...a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
...how to fall in love without losing herself...
...how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
...when to try harder... and when to walk away...
...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
...that her childhood may not have been perfect... but its over...
...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
...whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
...where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...
...what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

2008-02-16T16:55:00.002-05:00

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... That will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F' YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
*Men can avoid arguments, just remember the terminology!!

<3 QUOTES <3

2008-02-08T21:38:00.000-05:00

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, BUT they still WANT the CONFESSION!

A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory!

As long as the world is turning, we're gonna be dizzy.

Every door that swings wide for you has somebody on the other side opening it!

I live by the truth that "NO" is a complete sentence.

JEALOUSY is all the fun you think they had.

"Don't Forget Your Girlfriends"

2008-01-27T14:51:00.000-05:00

I sat on a summer day, drinking iced tea and visiting with my mother.
"Don't forget your girlfriends," Mother advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass.
No matter how much you love your husband, you are still going to need girlfriends.
Remember to go places with them now and then;
and do things with them, even when you don't necessarily want to.
And remember that girlfriends are not only friends, but sisters, daughters, mothers, grandmothers and other relatives too.
Women supporting and relating to other women is our responsibility and our gift.
"What a funny piece of advice," I thought.
"Hadn't Ijust gotten married?
Hadn't I just joined the couple-world?
I was now a married woman, for goodness sake, not some young girl who needed friends!"
But I listened to my Mom. I kept in contact with my girlfriends and even found some
new ones along the way. As the years tumbled by, one after another, I gradually came to understand that Mom really knew what she was talking about!
Here is what I know:
Girl friends bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you need help;
Girlfriends keep your children and your secrets.
Girlfriends give advice when you ask, sometimes you take it and sometimes you don't.
Girlfriends don't always tell you you're right, but they usually tell the truth.
Girlfriends still love you, even when they disagree with your choices.
Girlfriends laugh with you and don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.
Girlfriends pull you out of jams.
Girlfriends don't keep a calendar of who hosted the other's last big party.
Girlfriends will celebrate for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that happens.
Girlfriends are there for you in an instant, and when the hard times come.
Girlfriends will drive through blizzards, rainstorms, hail, heat, and gloom of night to get to you when your hour of need is desperate.
Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend.
Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.
Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.
Girlfriends cry with you when someone you loved dies.
Girlfriends support you when the men in your life let you down.
Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go.
Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy, and are ready to go out and kill what makes you unhappy.
Times passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up.
Marriages fail. Love waxes and wanes. Hearts break. Careers end.
Jobs come and go. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.
But girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.
A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. My daughters, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law, nieces, cousins, extended family,
and friends bless my life.
The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead, nor did we know how much we would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.

The BIG M

2008-01-06T17:56:00.000-05:00

A Wise Woman....

2008-01-06T17:48:00.000-05:00

"It is better to have loved and lost ...than have spent the rest of your life with an asshole."
Author: A WISE WOMAN

I'm A Bitch, Are You???

2008-01-06T17:40:00.000-05:00

I'm A Bitch, Are You?

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my own way,
they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch entails raising my children to be strong people who have a solid
sense of personal and social responsibility, who are not afraid to stand
up for what they believe in and who love and respect themselves
for the beautiful beings they are.

Being a bitch means that I am free to be the wonderful creature
that am, with all my own intricacies, contradictions, quirks and beauty.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step
on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak up against it,
I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of
being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

I am proud to be a bitch!
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be
who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what
they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated, and determined. By God, I want what I want,
and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me,
try to douse my inner flame,
try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

Author Unknown

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

2008-01-06T17:19:00.000-05:00

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one old love she can imagine going back to ...
and one who reminds her how far she has come ...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out and rent
a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer or date
of her dreams wants to see her in an hour ...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra ...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry ...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by
anyone else in her family ...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that
will make her guests feel honored ...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
how to fall in love without losing herself ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
when to try harder ...
and when to walk away ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
that her childhood may not have been perfect ...
but its over ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
how to live alone ...
even if she doesn't like it ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
whom she can trust, whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
where to go ...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table ...
or a charming inn in the woods ...
when her soul needs soothing ...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day ...
a month ...
and a year ...
Author Unknown

Woman In The Glass

2008-01-06T17:12:00.000-05:00

When you get what you want in your struggle for self, and the world makes you queen for a day, Just go to a mirror and look at yourself, and see what THAT woman has to say.

Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum, And call you a person of place, But the woman in the glass says you're only a bum if you can't look her straight in the face.

She's the woman to please, never mind all the rest, For she's with you clear up to the end, And you've pased your most dangerous, difficult test, If the woman in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years, And get pats on the back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears, If you've cheated the woman in the glass!

Author Unknown

What Else PMS Stands For:

2008-01-06T16:57:00.000-05:00

Psychotic Mood Shift
Pass My Shotgun
Perpetual Munching Spree
Puffy Mid-Section
People Make Me Sick
Provide Me with Sweets
Pardon My Sobbing
Pimples May Surface
Pass My Sweatpants
Pissy Mood Syndrome
Plainly Men Suck
Pack My Stuff
Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

Mid-Life Is When........

2008-01-06T16:36:00.000-05:00

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear end without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize that it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless on film.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream
"Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those will, too!"

Mid-life brings with it the wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're
sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, teenager and think:
"For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing we can still retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally ... more red
and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the "big" questions.
What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before
it's no longer a healthy choice?

But ... mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.

We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make
the journey worthwhile.

Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had back then?

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all of the wisdom
and love we've acquired ... that's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Power and Beauty of your Youth.....

2008-01-06T16:32:00.001-05:00

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind ... You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now ... how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions

2008-01-06T16:15:00.000-05:00

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to
take over my yard.
My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.
~~~
When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person
who probably wants money and I look away.
My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.
~~~
When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much
rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen.
My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words.
If they don'tknow them, they make up their own.
~~~
When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up
my hair and pulling me back when I walk.
My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they
fall to the ground laughing.
~~~
When I pray, I say thee and thou and grant me this, give me that.
My kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends.
Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to Heaven yet,
I would miss my Mommy and Daddy."
~~~
When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets.
My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.
~~~
I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from?
No wonder God loves the little children!
~~~
Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and
realize they were the big things.
~~~
I wish the world Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions!!!
~~~
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...?

2008-01-06T15:02:00.000-05:00

All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?

It took five minutes for the TV to warm up?

Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school?

Nobody owned a purebred dog?

When a quarter was a decent allowance?
You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?

Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?

All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had
their hair done every day and wore high heels?

You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, all for free, every time?
And you didn't pay for air?
And, you got trading stamps to boot?

Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?

It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a
real restaurant with your parents?

They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . ...and they did?

When a 55 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber
or watch submarine races, and people went steady?

No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in
the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?

Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things
like, "That cloud looks like a ..."

and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?

Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because
no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?

And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in
time and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today?

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that
awaited the student at home?

Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't
because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.

Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!

But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.

Do you remember Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Doody
and the Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger,

The Shadow Knows,
Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk.
As well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games,

Hula Hoops, bowling
and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.
Didn't that feel good,
just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that"?

And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better
and too young to care.

How many of these do you remember?

Candy cigarettes, Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside, Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles,

Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes, Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum,

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers,
Newsreels before the movie,

P.F. Fliers, Telephone numbers with a
word prefix....(Raymond 4-601). Party lines, Peashooters, Howdy Doody,

45 RPM records, Green Stamps, Hi-Fi's, Metal ice cube trays with
levers, Mimeograph paper, Beanie and Cecil,

Roller-skate keys, Cork pop guns,
Drive ins, Studebakers, Washtub wringers,

The Fuller Brush Man, Reel-To-Reel tape
recorders, Tinkertoys, Erector Sets, The Fort Apache Play Set,

Lincoln Logs,
15 cent McDonald hamburgers,
5 cent packs of baseball cards - with that awful pink slab of bubble gum,

Penny candy, 35 cent a gallon gasoline, Jiffy Pop popcorn

Do you remember a time when... Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?

It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?

A foot of snow was a dream come true?

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?

War was a card game?

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

2008-01-01T17:17:00.000-05:00

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (written after she found out she was dying from cancer). I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's." But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day.

The Years of a Woman

2008-01-01T17:08:00.000-05:00

The Years Of A Woman Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen. Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella. Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!) Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway. Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway. Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "clean" and goes out anyway. Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go. Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world. Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life. Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a PURPLE hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

Prone to Swinging.....

2008-01-01T16:48:00.000-05:00

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose.
Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never
liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
~Author Unknown~

No Peer Pressure....

2008-01-01T16:27:00.000-05:00

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you
think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with
dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes.
Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

A Women's Random Thoughts

2008-01-01T14:09:00.000-05:00

A Woman's Random Thoughts

~~If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free .......You either married it or gave birth to it~~

~~Insanity is my only means of relaxation~~

~~Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring~~

~~Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget
where they left them~~

~~One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman
gain five pounds~~

~~My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely~~

~~The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes~~

~~The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what
you're doing, someone else does~~

~~The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body
and your fat are really good friends~~

~~Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today~~

~~Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness~~

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together
and setting my pantyhose on fire~~

~~Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!~~

~~Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys....but I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat~~

~~A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids,
but she doesn't really care~~

~~They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative
but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock
class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch... do it and die."~~

~~The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then
they marry him~~

~~I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much,
impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding?
That is my idea of a perfect day~~

~~If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?~~

Intelligent...Not Fat

2007-12-21T09:03:00.000-05:00

We all get heavier as we get older because there's alot more information in our heads. So, I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold anymore so it started filling up the rest of me! ~~~That's my story and I'm sticking to it!~~

Still "Hot"......

2007-12-21T09:02:00.001-05:00

Last Minute...

2007-12-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

If it were not for the last minute, nothing would get done.

-Anonymous

How Do I Feel About Being "OLD"....

2007-12-14T13:45:00.000-05:00

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.
Old Age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the firs t time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt and boobs. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own best friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am
entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER! FRIENDS FOREVER!

Some Elfin' Christmas Fun!

2007-12-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

Merry Elfin' Christmas

50th Surprise Birthday Party!

2007-11-29T02:16:00.000-05:00

SURPRISE!!!!!

2007-11-26T14:18:00.000-05:00

Host:Megan M.
Location:East Bay Grille
When: Saturday, November 24, 7:00PM
My mom is turning 50! I can't believe it! Help Michael, Melissa and myself celebrate! SHHHHHHHH!!! It's a surprise! Be @ Eastbay Grille by 7:00. We'll have appetizers and cake, dance and celebrate!

Megan M.(The Organizer)
I hope that everyone can make it...I know my mom will be so happy--but let's keep it a secret...because she would never approve!
Bob & Becka
Melissa, Olivia & Jillian
Gina F.
Scott & Tina
Scott and I will be coming...we may duck out early because Scott is working the entire BLACK Friday (Saturday...WEEKEND) Gotta love Retail!
Jess W. & Mike
Mike and I will be there!
Cindi & Ira
Ira and I would love to join you and celebrate! Can't wait. Cindi
Marci
Thank you for thinking of me Meg! Looking forward to celebrating her fabulousness. See you soon. Marci
Mike
megan my mother and father r coming but they r bringing my nephew.
kerri & Fred
Jen J.
Dolly & Macalla
Barbie, Tim, Karlie & Jess
Meg, we will be there! Early to help too.....looking forward to it, she deserves it! Always doing things for other people, now it is her turn :)
Buddy
Heather & Jeff
Amy & Derek(+ 1 guest)
Can't wait!
Alicia-YAY!! Of course!!
Jeff W.
Dan
of course!!!!!! thank you!!!
Dawn-We are sorry we can not attend because my oldest son's b-day party is that same night. Hope everyone has fun! We will see Melinda at my mom's this sunday anyways but will be sure not to slip! Have Fun! Dawn (Mikes sister)
Meredith
As we know, I miss out on all the Sat night good stuff :( I'll be at work thinking of you guys! Have a great time!!

Happy Thanksgiving???

2007-11-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving?? Well, actually not too bad of a day considering. Family. As the saying goes, "You can pick your friends and your nose, but you can't pick your family" Why is it that most of us have families that always have issues with one another all the time? I remember when I was a kid I couldnt wait to have Thanksgiving dinner. It didnt seem as complicated as it does today. You would think the older we got the better we would all get along and care about each other. Maybe it's just my mis-matched, broken extended family, but I really think it's the norm these days. Too many opinions and not enough love of family. I hope in my next 50 years on this earth I can see it all change for the better......

In the begining....

2007-11-22T02:17:00.001-05:00

November of 1957 I came into this world not knowing anything. Now 50 years later I have learned alot of things, some useful, some, not so much! One thing I do know is that the years have gone by so fast that I can't seem to catch up with them. I don't feel fifty years old, not one part of me feels those years, but when I see my children who are now in their early 30's and late to middle 20's I wonder where the years went. I wouldn't trade a day of my life for anything because each day has made me who I am today. Hmmm... Who am I? That's a question I sometimes don't have an answer to.

Turning "Grown-Up".....

Dye til you Die or I'm Natural

Old People

Worry.....

WOMEN'S RESTROOMS.....

MY 5 NEW BOYFRIENDS!

Fwd: PATIENTS CAN BE FUNNY

WHAT CAN ONE EXPECT?

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

Health:

LOST IN THE DARNEDEST PLACES

Andy Rooney on Sex A bit salty but a smiler

Love, Love, Love

i Heart Faces Beach Photo Challenge

Snooping.....

Some Day.....

Growing Old....

As You Slide....

I know

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

Why Wives should not take their husbands shopping!!!!

Why Buy A Cow....

The love story of Ralph and Edna

Values...

The Seven Dwarves of Menopause

all she wants to do is,

On a positive note....

I want to live my Next Life Backwards!

Laughter

Mothers & Children

Men and Marriage

Love Those Wrinkles

Looking At Each Day

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

<3 QUOTES <3

"Don't Forget Your Girlfriends"

The **BIG** M

A Wise Woman....

I'm A Bitch, Are You???

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

Woman In The Glass

What Else PMS Stands For:

Mid-Life Is When........

Power and Beauty of your Youth.....

Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...?

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

The Years of a Woman

Prone to Swinging.....

No Peer Pressure....

A Women's Random Thoughts

Intelligent...Not Fat

Still "Hot"......

Last Minute...

How Do I Feel About Being "OLD"....

Some Elfin' Christmas Fun!

50th Surprise Birthday Party!

SURPRISE!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving???

In the begining....

The BIG M