FOOD FOR THOUGHT

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day.

You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they

want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received.

Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember.....
When life hands you lemons,

Ask for Lemon Chicken and call me over!!

Good friends are like stars.....

You don't always see them,

But you know they are always there.

'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another,

Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway.'

I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend

while I'm here

than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only God keeps You Going...

'Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up.'

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.


One friend is needed when you're going through things with
your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things
with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in
your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'


One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.


But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym
shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ..
Those are your best friends.


It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many,
it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbour,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years,
share this with all the women that God has placed in your life
To make a difference.

Why Wives should not take their husbands shopping!!!!

Men and women have different opinions about shopping. Men are usually in and out kinda guys where most women like to "browse" Here is one man's solution......

Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. 
   
   June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
   they weren't looking.


2. 
   
   July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.


3. 
   
   July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.


4. 
   
   July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'


5. 
   
   August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.


6. 
   
   August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. 
   
   August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.


8. 
   
   August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'


9. 
   
   September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.


10. 
    
    September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.


11. 
    
    October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.


12. 
    
    October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.


13. 
    
    October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'


14. 
    
    October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


15. 
    
    And last, but not least. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Why Buy A Cow....

For all those men who say,
Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.
Here's an update for you:
Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage,
WHY?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire
pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming,
how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

The love story of Ralph and Edna

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered
her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to respond rationally to
a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that
your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe
belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health day!
You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend.

Values...

Values are like fingerprints.
Nobody's are the same,
but you leave 'em all over everything you do.
-Elvis Presley

The Seven Dwarves of Menopause