No Peer Pressure....

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you
think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with
dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes.
Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.