Friday, August 8, 2008

Why Buy A Cow....

For all those men who say,
Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.
Here's an update for you:
Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage,
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire
pig just to get a little sausage.
Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming,
how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The love story of Ralph and Edna

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered
her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to respond rationally to
a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that
your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe
belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health day!
You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend.