Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dye til you Die or I'm Natural

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Old People



The Nelson's a married couple were traveling by car from Myrtle Beach SC to visit family in Jacksonville Fl.


Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road and too tired to continue, they decided to get a room. However, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us to use. 'But we didn't use them," the husband said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book he asked his wife to write the check.  She did and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is only made out for $50.00."

''That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with senior citizens. They didn't get there by being stupid!

Thursday, February 24, 2011


Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?
Is there some wonderful moment when Parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug,
'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches In my daughter's head and I asked, 'When do you stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage..'
My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom And heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career
making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage And then you can sit back, Relax and enjoy them.'
My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, The cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves. 'Don't worry! In a few years, they'll be adults. 'They'll be off on their own
They'll be out of your hair'
My Parents just smiled faintly And said nothing.
By the time I was 50,
I was sick and tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my children,
But there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own 
I continued to anguish over their failures,
Be tormented by their frustrations and
Absorbed in their disappointments..
And there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.
My friends said that When my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that,
But I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles And their occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
'Call me the minute you get home'.
Are you depressed about something?'
My friends said that When I became a grandparent That I would get to enjoy
The happy little voices yelling
Grandma! Papa!
But now I find that I worry
Just as much about the little kids
As the big ones.
How can anyone cope
With all this Worry?
Can it be that parents are sentenced
To a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another
Handed down like a torch
To blaze the trail of human frailties
And the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it
A virtue that elevates us
To the highest form of earthly creation?
Recently, one of my own children
Became quite irritable, saying to me,
'Where were you?
I've been calling for 3 days,
And no one answered
I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.