Sunday, January 27, 2013

On a positive note

On a positive note....
I've learned that no matter what happens, or
how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better
tomorrow, if for no other reason than a sense of relief that
whatever it was, didn't get worse!.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way
he/she handles these four things: a rainy day, lost luggage,
screaming two year olds, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your
parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making
a "life."
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's
mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But
if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch
someone. People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm
hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that if you are going through Hell it is best to keep
I've learned that you should tell someone you care
about them. Sometimes they just need a little something
to make them smile.

Subject: mid-life

Subject: mid-life

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about
how mid-life is a great time for women.
Just last week Oprah had a whole show on
how great menopause will be....

I've had a few thoughts of my own
and would like to share them with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60
(or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time
to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms,
we have wingspans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts,
we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can
stand naked in front of a mirror
and you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram
and you realize that this is the only time
someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab
every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream,
"Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell
and those will too."
Mid-life brings wisdom to know
that life throws us curves and
we're sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all,
beeper-wearing teenager and think:
"For this I have stretch marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go.
In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake
now includes Legs By Rand McNally --
more red and blue lines
than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective...
You start pondering the "big" questions.
What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat
before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it
an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double,
but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile.
Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now
for the body you had way back when?

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand
to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.

That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts."